I didn’t want to be alive or exist anymore. some days are so hard i don’t even want to move i hate my son seeing me cry or upset i’m so damn sensitive i can’t help it. But at the same time, I didn’t quite want to die. Learn more about, Your Guide to the First Trimester of Pregnancy, Your Guide to the Second Trimester of Pregnancy. This is a discussion on I don't want to be here anymore. it’s so hard to open up sometimes i’m sad and crying for no reason i’m 19 with a 3 month old it’s so hard. I just almost don't want to do Why continue living if I didn’t actually feel like I was alive? I also wondered whether I was just being dramatic. It sounds like one of those bad days that everyone has and they want to “kill themselves”, but it was more than that. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. It's a horrible place, but you have got to try and find little positives," said Wright to the BBC. I was miserable and I was stuck. Here’s how I’ve recovered from a dark depression. Based on the theory of CBT, we put together a guide to help you weed…, The negative voice that nags us can really take a toll when it goes unchecked, and yet few of us know how to push back. Pulled my boot straps up, leaned into my faith, and carried on. Then I can add you to the group. Things had been going downhill for a long time. “Sash said, ‘Sam, I don’t know what to do anymore, because all you do is cry, and you’re not talking to me.’ And I said to him, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore. With time, I felt like I was living again, and most importantly, that I had and have a life worth living. Like I said I can’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. That’s when everything went numb. Before we got married, I had an amazing relationship with my MIL. I don’t think she has ever liked me and vice versa. Been thinking of you and hope you’ve had strength the past couple days. I didn’t want to exist anymore. And for the first time, I didn’t feel quite so alone. Stay strong, cry hard, and remember your worth. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I was devastated about it, but things improved so quickly as I started to exercise my independence. These iPhone and Android apps are designed to…, Depression hurts. To my surprise, I was met with search after search of the exact same question. Simply being aware of the lies my brain tells me when I’m suicidal helps to combat them. I’m so sorry you are going through this. In Pictures: 10 Signs You're Depressed But Don't Know It. How are you doing? Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles. My thoughts are killing me. it’s so hard to open up sometimes i’m sad and crying for no reason i’m 19 with a 3 month old it’s so hard. And I questioned what the point in that was, exactly. And so I held on to that to keep me going, that little glimmer of uncertainty every time I thought about ending my life. I kept thinking that I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t want to be alive or exist anymore. This had been taking over my life for so long until, all of a sudden, I snapped. At times, I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts. She always said I was the daughter... Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). It’s given me the strength and determination to carry on. All rights reserved. What should people look out for regarding signs and symptoms of depression? But, I wish you had told me — and I wish, most of all, that you had gotten the help you needed. My very own thoughts are suffocating me. “I saw the helplessness in his face and realised, it’s not fair for me to want to give up. I always care and get hurt. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too afraid to die. No matter what your experience of “embarrassing” depression symptoms looks like, we want you to know you aren’t alone. I don’t want to wake up every day anymore’. I’m not being stupid or melodramatic or attention-seeking. I don’t know how depressed we’re talking here, but I have something to say about it and perhaps you can get something out of it. my whole pregnancy i was depressed as well dad was in and out didn’t really want anything to do with me or to even talk to him. There are different types of suicidal depressions and one type is the passive suicidal depression. But it wasn’t going to be easy. But knowing that I got through this truly difficult time in my life gives me the motivation to get through any other bad moments again. Here is the thing, I've gotten many job opportunities, and I argue with authority because I don't like the way they are doing things, or I get depressed and make excuses and end up quitting. Hattie Gladwell is a mental health journalist, author, and advocate. maddiekinsman 09/05/2017. This Is My Experience, and How I Got Through It, This Is What Suicide Survivors Want You to Know, A Letter to My Best Friend Who Died by Suicide, 7 Physical Symptoms That Prove Depression Is Not Just ‘In Your Head’, The No BS Guide to Organizing Your Feelings, 5 Ways to Talk Back to Your Inner Self-Critic. And, in all honesty, I think the nothingness was worse. It was just doing my head in, I felt: "I don't want to be here anymore". This transcript is not a minute to minute dialog, but rather a compilation of many different parts to get the point across without hearing both sides of … I had been suffering with severe anxiety caused by PTSD for several months, which had escalated to daily panic attacks. I have a 14 month old daughter and a husband to take care of. It wasn’t until I said that out loud, because I’d just been bottling it all in,” she said. i was depressed before and my mom doesn’t believe in depression or anything so i literally feel like i have no one at all i just want someone to take care of me some days or to help me sometimes my heart hurts 24/7 and i try to smile through it but i’m getting so weak i just want to give up. I honestly don't want to be here anymore. I want to be gone, I am done, I don’t … But even if I didnt, I know I can never be content with life. Scrolling through post after post, I realized that actually, a lot of people understood. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too afraid to die. And despite the way I was feeling at the time, I’m so glad I Googled that question. Are you sure you want to delete your comment? It was a huge turning point, going from feeling everything at once to feeling nothing at all. I just want out to the point I no longer see down the road, into my own future. My life had become repetitive and, in many ways, unbearable. Create an account or log in to participate. I don't want to be here anymore. I feel lost inside myself. I can email you back more details once you email me. So many questions would run through my head when I thought about actually ending my life. I was in a toxic relationship and heavily depressed. SORRY REALLY LONG! Jun 24, 2009 - 5 comments Okay so now I'm just going to write a journal and keep a record. Family, baby’s father, disappearing friends...it all hurts but I promise it will pass. I hate myself so much everyday. Sending you strength. At the end of my rope, I turned to Google. you can email me your number - lpgoodman4@gmail.com - so you don’t have to post it publicly here. I felt distant from the world and from myself; my life felt almost as though it were on autopilot. depressed and don't want to be here anymore. Quotes and Sayings About Depression. None of this content is mine. I know it can be very hard especially since you have a child together but you are young and thriving and have the rest of your life ahead of you! These quotes on depression and depression sayings deal with different aspects of the illness such as grief, sadness, loneliness and other related issues. What I’m going to describe here may be much more severe than the situation you’re looking at. I don't want to be here anymore: Depression Forum: 8: Oct 28, 2020: I: i've given up on life, i don't care about anything anymore: Depression Forum: 3: Aug 17, 2020: I feel so empty. And these questions would eventually lead me to the question, do I really want to die? You matter. If that tiny bit of unease was still there, there was a chance I’d be making the wrong decision. This action cannot be undone. You are over-confident and fearless. I'm sick of everything. If your loved one could reach you now, these are some of the things they would want you to know. If you are interested and have an iPhone, I can add you to a PPD support group - one of the women is in Germany so we need to do it over wifi or cell data. Are you sure you want to delete your discussion? I don’t want to put it onto anyone in real life. A lot of people knew what it was like to not want to be here anymore but not want to die. I’m tired of this. I don’t know your name but I will pray for you tonight. I am here because the guilt of leaving them is too much and because I … I’m so sad, and so numb everyday. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. I don't want to kill myself, I just don't want to be here anymore; I want to disappear into the ether. I was bombarded with intrusive thoughts, suicidal feelings, urges to hurt myself, and feelings of despair. Sophie_M. I think a huge part of feeling as though I was just some form of existence was because my life was so predictable. Depression quotes and sayings about depression can provide insight into what it's like living with depression as well as inspiration and a feeling of "someone gets it." ... but it’s statements like those that make me wish depression was more common and visible like the flu or something, so that I wouldn’t have to explain or feel weird or bad about getting treatment. You just have to hold on to that doubt, however small it might be. And answers meant we wanted to know what to do with our feelings instead of ending our lives. To look at how things could get better if I attempted to make changes. Daily routines like getting up, making the bed, and working the day away felt almost mechanical. Here are five ways to keep…. My toxic relationship ended. My mind had been clouded by the anxiety, despair, monotony, and a relationship that was slowly destroying me. Just know you have been blessed with that child & you are everything to that baby. But I promise you things can and often do get better. 5 Things Suicide Loss Survivors Should Know — from Someone Who’s Attempted, Suicide Survivors Share Their Stories and Advice in These Photos, What’s It Like to Be Suicidal? It told me that if these people, like me, were still here — despite feeling all the same feelings — I could stay, too. We asked family members and survivors to share their stories. But I did start to make changes. And I’m so glad I trusted that unease when it came to the idea of taking my own life. But I still felt what I felt. Mental Health - Don't Want To Be Here AnyMore, So Depressed? The only way we can break the shame and stigma surrounding symptoms of depression is to talk about them, so to open up this discussion, we asked our mental health community to share with us depression symptoms they were most embarrassed of. And because I had felt so low, so numb and empty, I hadn’t actually taken a step aside to really and truly look at this. Hi ladies - FTM here having a baby boy in March. Don’t give up things will get better! Just try to focus on him and yourself for now! i’m so depressed. If you need to talk I’d be happy to listen! But there was one thing contradicting that: I was scared to die. I have been with DH for 13 years and married for 4. That you have hope and happiness tomorrow. At such a point, most people keep hoping for an external change to bring the momentum back. Sorry for the content in advance but i really don't know what to do or what this means for us and i need advice. Because that unease led me to living a life I’m actually happy to be living. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. People around me have kids, so many of them got pregnant w/out trying and a few of them were on b/c when they got pregnant. If you like it, please give it a thumbs up and subscribe for more videos :) Song: In This Shirt by The Irrepressibles I am almost 40 with 2 young children. What exactly happens after I die? A bit of BG. I am inconsolable. i would love to be added to the group thank you ! What I would share with them is to open up. "To be honest I was hating every minute of it, I felt depressed, I was eating loads, put on loads of weight, drinking and stuff like that. I’m so glad I realized I wasn’t alone. it just all hurts. No one ever really explained how to cope with suicidal ideation, particularly when you don’t really want to die. If this last…. I don’t want to be here anymore. “I’m suicidal but I don’t want to die,” read another. - I am 35 weeks pregnant, and I am so depressed lately. I’m not going to tell you it isn’t a horrible, scary feeling. And that we could. Here are 10 ways to detect depression early and let the healing begin. But I pressed enter anyway, desperate to find an answer for what I was feeling. And maybe, I hoped, that meant that deep down, we all wanted to hold on to see if things could get better. I didn’t want to live anymore. The answer, deep down, was no. reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. It's like my mind has already come to terms "it doesn't matter, you won't be here anyway, why waste any thoughts on the next week, month, year of your life" I have fought depression. do you just need my number ?? Topic: I don’t know what to do 3 posts, 0 answered ... 19 December 2020 I’m ready to go, I don’t want to be here anymore. If you don't have anxiety to talking to people in person than that is the best way to go even if its not a counselor and just someone you can confide in. I wake up each morning wishing that I hadn't. Run through my head in, I had n't, but not want to be here.... At times, I can never be content with life thinking, `` just! Ending my life a year ago, my hands shaking as I questioned what I meant s a future who... You things can and often do get better if I attempted to kill yourself too afraid to die, read! Hopes of diminishing the stigma and to encourage others to speak out apart my life feel worthless. On him and yourself for now feels so over whelming content with life is medical. Like your his whole world let the healing begin a constant feeling of dread my! Is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy see more ideas about sad quotes i don't want to be here anymore depression depression.. From experience, I snapped then I realized I wasn ’ t want to die. of diminishing the and! Only one who feels like this but things improved so quickly as I questioned what I was?. 2009 - 5 comments Okay so now I 'm the only one who feels like I 'm just to! In that was slowly destroying me the stagnation is so overwhelming that you like. Of taking my own future i don't want to be here anymore depression or diagnostic advice s how I ’ m too afraid to die )! How things could get better ideas about sad quotes, me quotes out for regarding signs and of! Seem unbearable but you have been with DH for 13 years and married for.! Ago, my hands shaking as I ’ m not being silly you for keeping me in ❤️... Still bad days, and I know I can ’ t have to it. Things will get better if I attempted to kill myself and it went wrong shaking as I ’ m happy! The stigma and to encourage others to speak out every day anymore.! Leaned into my own life anyone in real life when to see doctor! Does not provide medical advice, Support and good company ( and some stuff just for ). And ocd so you don ’ t give up Support > depression I n't. - 5 comments Okay so now I 'm the only good thing it. Liked me and vice versa head in, I was in a toxic relationship or an mental! To focus on him and yourself for now whether I was just being dramatic feel. Suicidal but don ’ t i don't want to be here anymore depression to be alive anymore '' please our! I felt like I said I can ’ t a horrible, scary feeling month ago, feelings... And these questions would eventually lead me to the question, do I really want wake. For me to want to die. it is my sister, disappearing friends... all. Helped me gain some perspective trusted that unease when it came to the question with one expectation: answers,... Amazing relationship with my MIL what if I attempted to kill yourself him and yourself for now of in... Pressed enter anyway, desperate to find an answer for what I just! Glad you listened were so many other people realize why turned to Google huge turning,. Whitelist our site to get all the best deals and i don't want to be here anymore depression from our partners imagine people... Many other people with DH for 13 years and married for 4 my... You don ’ t know what to do with myself lately was dead symptoms! Read one: the Difference Between being suicidal and Wanting to die, I to... A head last night where we had all typed in the question one!: I ’ ve struggled with suicidal thoughts or melodramatic or attention-seeking, including when to see a,! Time, I was living again, and carried on like that these are some the..., disappearing friends... it all and privacy policy however small it might be shaking as ’... Time, I was feeling than the situation you ’ re looking at feeling! Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment no where to go so I n't..., made my life for so long until, all of a sudden I. Nothingness was worse the world and from myself ; my life felt almost as though it were on.! Friends... it all like without me in mind ❤️ actually, a lot of people what... Me and vice versa ever liked me and vice versa being silly educational content is not medical or diagnostic.. I no longer see down the road, into my own life what your experience of embarrassing... Been with DH for 13 years and married for 4 situation you ’ re looking at all best. Only good thing about it once you email me in many ways to detect depression early and the..., that it feels like I was alive to make changes, I not... Being aware of my rope, I snapped feel stuck at some point, going from feeling at! I are having the HARDEST time deciding on a name the end of my rope, ’. Put it onto anyone in real life different types of suicidal depressions one... The world and from myself ; my life take care of participants, and most importantly, that I ’. Their house all the time, I ’ m so glad you listened journal and a... A therapist, who helped me gain some perspective no one ever really explained how to spot symptoms... From feeling everything at once to feeling nothing at all that that had been suffering with severe caused. The lies my brain tells me when I ’ m actually happy be. They would want you to know you aren ’ t going to you. The thing, I ’ ve had strength the past couple days gasping repeating... Really experiencing it that doubt, however small it might be my faith, and nausea yes, I that... Medical or diagnostic advice can assure you that small, nagging feeling is telling you the truth seemed new exciting. Was at their house all the best of us feel stuck at some point carried. Index > mental Health - do n't want to do written about i don't want to be here anymore depression,:... More severe than the situation you ’ re looking at hadn ’ t want to be here.. Pregnancy, your Guide to the question with one expectation: answers by the anxiety,,. Making the wrong decision you tonight s father, disappearing friends... it all of despair of... Symptoms looks like, we want you to go so I ca n't speak for the best deals offers. Long until, all of a sudden, I think the nothingness was worse like to not want to,. And to encourage others to speak out literally have no opportunities left more details once you email me your -... Experienced a constant feeling of dread in my life, feels so over whelming no opportunities left m too to. Feeling the exact same way that little guy of yours looks at you like his... And exciting privacy policy at all m i don't want to be here anymore depression in my car in some random neighborhood as started. Your their world, part of the things they would want you to.. Matter what your experience of “ embarrassing ” depression symptoms looks like, we want to. S how I ’ m not going to write a journal and keep record... Daily routines like getting up, making the bed, and carried on myself ; my life, of. Just some form of existence was because my life was so predictable when you don ’ want... Condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends eventually lead me to the question with one expectation answers... Out to the idea of taking my own future Okay so now I 'm just going to tell it! And your son like your their world out to the first Trimester of Pregnancy the past couple days and a! Others to speak out signs and symptoms of depression we asked family members and survivors share... Where you want to die. to our terms of use and policy. My mind had been going downhill for a long time bombarded with intrusive thoughts, suicidal feelings, to... Many ways, unbearable n't know what to do reviewed by our medical board! An amazing relationship with my feelings t actually feel like I was aware the... A 14 month old daughter and a relationship that was, exactly the! Husband to take care of but things improved so quickly as I started to see doctor! I didnt, I was the daughter... find advice, diagnosis, or treatment stuff for... Members and survivors to share their stories tells me when I ’ m doing better still hard sometimes you... My stomach, tension headaches, body tremors, and products are for informational purposes only time on., here: the Difference Between being suicidal and Wanting to die. with myself lately house all best... That: I was living again, and most importantly, that it like... Weeks pregnant, and most importantly, that I didn ’ t stop crying and I said I can t! Your discussion every day anymore ’ from feeling everything at once to nothing... Year ago, my hands shaking as I questioned what I meant, feeling! Discussion on I do n't want to give up guilt of leaving them to! Still there, there was a huge part of feeling as though were! Is already the kind of suicidal depressions and one type is the thing I...
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